Sunshine.

A golden afternoon in the golden state, studying with a girl of...

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 17:28:30 -0700

A golden afternoon in the golden state, studying with a girl of gold @jenstang (at Linnaea’s Cafe)

Fatigue-in': (fuh-tee-gen) verb. The act of being tired.

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 11:18:36 -0700

God, awaken my tired eyes. They’re fatigued. They’re out of practice and out of patience.

I need to see You.

Awaken my eyes. Still my mind.

I am fatigue-in’. But You’re awakening. You’re renewing. You’re revealing. You’re healing. You’re remaining.

Thanks.

Making Spirits Bright

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 00:57:42 -0800

Laughter. Real, gut-tugging, I’m-laughing-so-hard-that-my-stomach-feels-numb, laughter.

Tonight’s cup of events was overflowing with laughter. The kind that makes knees red from all of the slapping and makes your tongue go dumb and unable to refine your words when you try to speak after a good round of it, laughter.

Tonight was filled with genuine laughter around my aunt and uncle’s dinner table. There was pizza, cervezas, a newly-discovered drink (for me) called a mud-slide, two of the cutest 6 and 8 year old little girl cousins anyone could ask for, comforting conversation of shared mission trip stories, and re-runs of the show Modern Family.

I am thoroughly grateful and overjoyed at the opportunity to spend cherished time with family. It is appreciated greater in light of the absence of family time during the previous Christmas season on my STINT in El Salvador.

Thank you Jesus for giving me this blessing of the physical presence with my family. Your grace is sufficient enough.

Also, thanks for gracing me with an awesome aunt and uncle who ask the needed questions, “How is transition?” and “What did you need to heal from last year?” Yet in addition, they share their similar experiences and stories on STINT and year-long mission trips. Then we compare. Then we laugh. Laugh and listen and enjoy Jesus together.

Because Jesus brings us together.

Jesus makes our spirits bright.

"Follow right manfully in your Master’s steps, for he has traversed this rough way before you...."

Fri, 28 Dec 2012 21:56:35 -0800

“Follow right manfully in your Master’s steps, for he has traversed this rough way before you. Better a brief warfare and eternal rest, than false peace and everlasting torment.
C.H. Spurgeon”

"Write something worth reading and do something worth writing. —Benjamin Franklin"

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 23:12:38 -0800

“Write something worth reading and do something worth writing. —Benjamin Franklin”

"All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent. — Thomas..."

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 23:11:52 -0800

“All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent. — Thomas Jefferson”

Bless The Lord, Oh My Soul!

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 17:33:00 -0800

The purr of the dishwasher bounces off of the four walls in the kitchen area. This purr provides a steady rhythm for the lyric of a song that is replaying in my mind,

…the sharp knife of a short life…

…the sharp knife of a short life…

…the sharp knife of a short life…

Earlier this morning, I attended the funeral of my friend’s friend, Brittany. I did not personally know Brittany, but I felt honored to attend and to receive a glimpse of her life. Her short life.

Time warps and returns me to my seat at the ceremony.

The sharp knife stabs.

Chills emanate from my core to my extremities.

It was like I was at my own funeral.

From what I heard and comprehended, her life seemed to mirror mine.

The chills release themselves again.

I take a sip of coffee and am returned to the present.

The coffee brings me physical warmth, as the LORD’s Words bring simultaneous spiritual warmth.

How precious are we, in the sight of the LORD, His children.

But she lived a short life, God, 22 years.

Yes, daughter, she had My breath for 22 years.

It was a somber morning. The rain was steady, the clouds were thick. Most would say they were fitting conditions for grieving. That is true. But the conditions were beautiful. They were perfect to rejoice and give praise where praise is due: to the God of the Universe.

I re-read the chapter, “What in the World, in all the World, is Grace?”from the book, One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp. Here is an especially encouraging excerpt.

I remember words of evening graces and morning miracles:

“Here dies another day During which I have had eyes, ears, hands And the great world round me; And with tomorrow begins another. Why am I allowed two?”

Why doesn’t anyone as that why question?

Why are we allowed two? Why lavished with three? A whole string of grace days?”

Why was this world graced with Brittany’s presence for 22 whole years? Wow. God is good. God is a good God.

God, You give and take away, but my heart will choose to say, blessed be the name of the LORD.

I have had the privilege of living 21 whole, full years. I thank God for giving me breath, for sustaining my breath.

I was broken this morning. Broken and re-tender-ized. Re-sensatized. Re-immunized with God’s gentleness. And also re-minded of God’s goodness and His gift of salvation equally and liberally available for all of humanity.

He re-lit a fire in my heart. He re-stored. He re-deemed.

He gives new life. He blesses us and graces us with life.

I can’t wait for the best and final season of my life, when I return home to my Father, my God. Until then, I will remain grateful and focused on the string of grace-days He has given.

Precious in His eyes is the homecoming of the saints

Psalm 116:15

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtwIT8JjddM

Dancing Shadows

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 11:30:00 -0800

The shadows of the tree leaves dance merrily about on the hardwood floors of my apartment. Even though they are dark shadows, they gleam from the outside trees, through the window frames on the wall behind me, and cast themselves on display to my diagonal. They are cheery, joyful, perky and persistent, appearing alive and full of light…

…Even though they are shadows…

I haven’t written here in a very long time, but this morning—thanks to a sufficient amount of time created by my internal alarm clock—I decided to re-read my old blog posts.

My heart leaped and tugged as my eyes grazed the words and my mind recalled and registered the circumstances prompting the previous posts.

The posts were like the shadows of the tree leaves. Shadows of past joy, pain, conviction, inspiration, and learned lessons. But they danced. They danced and told stories. They brought life and joy to my heart.

A large portion of what I shared on this blog relates to my year on STINT, a year-long internship with Cru in El Salvador. This reminded me of this summer, when I returned from El Sal and encountered the largest and darkest period of apathy towards Christ I have ever experienced. While the daily battle for all Christians is to choose Christ or self, I found myself not choosing. This propelled me toward the black hole of lukewarm indifference. I was swimming in a black hole of danger.

All of this reminded me of the Colossians 2:16-19

So let no one judge you in food or in drink, or regarding a festival or a new moon or sabbaths, which are a shadow of things to come, but the substance is of Christ. Let no one cheat you of your reward, taking delight in false humility and worship of angels, intruding into those things which he has not seen, vainly puffed up by his fleshly mind, and not holding fast to the Head, from whom all the body nourished and knit together by joints and ligaments, grows with the increase that is from God.

Paul explains in his letter to the church at Colosse, the “food…drink…festival…or sabbaths” are not bad, but they are not Christ. You can enjoy those religious things. Yet they are not Christ, “their substance is of Christ.” I can enjoy re-reading my old posts, but they are but mere shadows of what I had learned and experienced. They are very real, yet they are not the tree itself, alive and growing. I am to “hold fast to the Head” that nourishes and causes growth. The action of holding fast is much different than apathy, not choosing anything at all.

I’m thankful for the time I had this morning to reflect and read. It left me remembering the dancing shadows, appearing to gleam brilliance, but I want more than just shadows. I want the Tree itself—the Tree of Life.

As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.

Colossians 2:6-7

I want to be rooted and planted by streams of living water, the river of life, the Holy Spirit…so I am choosing this.

For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.

Jeremiah 17:8

I have finished with the not choosing. I choose Agape (Love), not apathy.

“But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.” Colossians 3:14-15

"Let the whole earth be filled with His glory; Amen and Amen." Psalm 72:19

Mon, 06 Aug 2012 22:33:00 -0700

…Turn your eyes to Calvary. See the Lord of Life nailed to the cross, with the crown of thorns on His brow, with His bleeding head, hands, and feet. What! Can you look upon this miracle of miracles—the death of the Son of God—without feeling within your heart a marvelous adoration that language could never express? When you perceive that the blood has been applied to your conscience and know that He has blotted out your sins…fall to your knees and cry out, “Let the whole earth be filled with His glory; Amen and Amen”…your piety is worthless unless it leads you to wish that the same mercy that has been extended to you may bless the whole world. Lord, it is harvesttime. Put in Your sickle and reap.

-Charles Spurgeon

"July 19th"...One year later

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 22:44:53 -0700

“The Lord our God hath showed us His glory.”

Deuteronomy 5:24

…”Thank God, then, if you have been led by a rough road. It is this that has given you your expeience of God’s greatness and lovingkindness. Your troubles have enriched you with a wealth of knowledge to be gained by no other means. Your trials have been the cleft of the rock in which Jehovah has set you, as He did His servant Moses, so that you might behold His glory as it passes by. Praise God that you have not been left to the darkness and ignorance that continued prosperity might have involved, but that in the great fight of affliction, you have been equipped for the outshinings of His glory in His wonderful dealings with you.”

An excerpt from the entry on “Morning, July 19th”

from Morning to Evening

By Charles Spurgeon

It was July 19th one year ago that I was praying to be fully supported to fund my year working with Cru in El Salvador. And it’s one year later that I am reading this feeling similar emotions. Yet I refer to working with Cru in El Salvador in the past tense, and I am a new creation, even more “equipped for the outshinings of His glory in His wonderful dealings with [me]!”

The Lord is good. The Lord is faithful.

PRAISE HIM!

A Refreshing Reminder

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 08:09:42 -0700

To encourage, empower, and rejoice!

Along with a proper understanding of the sufficiency of the Bible, understanding the sufficiency of Christ is a fundamental pillar for living the Christian life and for developing proper theology as we grow in faith. Either Christ has all power and strength, or He does not. Either He is the One we need to depend on, or He is not. Either He can enable us to walk by faith, or He cannot. Sufficiency is an all-or-nothing concept, and we must decide whether we accept that Christ is indeed our all in all or if we are trying to cipher away some of His glory for ourselves. Thus, given that God is jealous for glory, we had better live properly in light of His sufficiency so that He does indeed get all the glory.

To be sufficient is to be self-sustaining, self-adequate, and to have all power and strength. We can safely say that God is all of these things because He needs no one, and He is fully able to carry out His will and desires as He wishes. No one can thwart His plans, for He is God. There is none other. The grace of God enters into the picture in that He so loves His children, we who have received Jesus as our Savior, that He desires to involve us in His plans in the world. Thus, we have the invitation and opportunity to be co-laborers with the God of the universe, but how we understand the meaning of co-laborer makes all the difference.

In John 15:5, Jesus says, “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” Christ gives us a picture of our oneness with Him. It is a picture in which He is the vine, the source, the strength, and the anchor, and we are the branches, fully dependent upon Him for life and for power and strength to do anything of spiritual value. Thus, to be a co-laborer with Christ is to recognize and believe that we are fully dependent upon the grace and resources of Christ to do ministry. It is coming to understand and appreciate that we can’t do anything of spiritual value of ourselves. To do things without yielding to Christ is to come up with dead works (Hebrews 9:14), spiritually speaking, rather than true fruit of the Spirit. This is why fruit that is of the Lord is called the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), not the fruit of the Spirit and of ourselves. True spiritual effectiveness is accomplished when we let Jesus empower us by His strength. Our strength is pitiful, but His is totally dominant and sufficient. We are insufficient and unable, but He is sufficient and able. As Jesus said in Matthew 19:26, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Aside from Christ in us, we have no chance to see the kingdom advance, truth defeat lies, and people be set free from captivity to sin and the devil. Take away Christ and the most talented among us are rendered useless. This is why Christ is not impressed with natural abilities, but He desires faith (Hebrews 11:6). Simple faith in His power and in the power of His Word is what He desires. That way, He, not us, gets the glory. Of course, He is faithful to reward us for our cooperation in His work, but let us not forget that, if it wasn’t for His indwelling power, our labor would be of no value to Him. So to be a co-laborer with Christ is to be one who walks by faith and fully submits and surrenders to the will and leading of the Spirit of God. It is to be clay that doesn’t resist the Potter (Isaiah 64:8) and a vessel that doesn’t attempt to steal the glory from the treasure of Jesus Whom it holds (2 Corinthians 4:7).

Christ’s sufficiency means, by implication, that we are insufficient of ourselves. Indeed the Scripture says this outright in 2 Corinthians 3:5 which says, “Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.” There is a powerful, powerful truth here. Without Christ we are inadequate. We lack wisdom (Colossians 2:3), we have no strength (Philippians 4:13), and we can’t accomplish ministry (Zechariah 4:6), just to name a few of our insufficiencies. However, with Christ indwelling us and as we by faith surrender to Him in humility and obedience, trembling at His Word (Isaiah 66:2), we become sufficient to do eternally effective ministry. So the saints of God go from an incompetent, defeated army which fools itself into thinking it is advancing the kingdom, and it becomes one that is truly spiritually powerful and fully able because of Christ in them.

The frightening thing is that we can be saved and have Christ in us and still not take advantage of His power if we trust in our own ability. Do we merely need God to help us as if we are combining our strength with His? Is His power a mere supplement to our efforts rather than the entire package? Proverbs 3:5-6 says to trust in the Lord with all of our hearts, meaning that we are not to trust in ourselves at all. It says not to lean on our own understanding, meaning that we are to fully rely upon the wisdom of God. It says that we are to acknowledge God in all things, meaning that He gets the credit and not us. Only when we fully believe that we are dependent beings for anything and everything can Jesus become our all in all, strengthening us despite our human weakness so that His power can be perfected in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) and so that His glory can be seen (2 Corinthians 4:7). Instead of wandering about as fools in a flurry of vain self-effort, we should trust God to make our paths straight as we walk by faith in obedience and humility (Proverbs 3:6). But it all starts with a healthy, righteous, and humble belief in the insufficiency of man apart from Christ and a belief in the sufficiency of Christ which alone can make redeemed man effective for ministry (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

http://www.relevantbibleteaching.com/site/cpage.asp?cpage_id=140016302&sec_id=140001239

"Chase me down like a lion Like a bird of prey Lift me up from the ashes Of my hearts own shallow..."

Thu, 03 May 2012 09:03:47 -0700

“

Chase me down like a lion
Like a bird of prey
Lift me up from the ashes
Of my hearts own shallow grave

‘Cause I know that I love You
But sometimes I’m afraid
Whoa, oh

Spare my body from the wolves, God
That crouch down at my door
Lift me up above the waters
And the sharks that guard Your shore

‘Cause I know that I need You
But sometimes I know it more
Whoa, oh

Harbor me in the eye of the storm
I’m holding on to love You swore

”

- Love You Swore

John Mark McMillan

Doubt Your Perception of Suffering

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 08:28:11 -0700

Doubt Your Perception of Suffering:

Lesson learning: don’t resent the season of life when we are healed from blindness and can see.

The time of blessing is the LORD’s will, as well as the season of blindness.

Let us pray that our hearts are not bitter towards the sight the Lord gives us, that we choose to see every season as a time to glorify God, and that we humbly walk in the knowledge of the FULNESS of God’s love, grace, mercy, and glory.

Your Father Knows

Fri, 13 Apr 2012 07:44:04 -0700

“…And your Father knows what things you have need of…” Matthew 6:8. We do not pray to inform God of our wants. Omniscient as He is, He cannot be informed of anything which He did not know before. And He is always willing to relieve our needs. The chief thing lacking is a suitable disposition on our part to receive His grace and blessing. Consequently, one great purpose of prayer is to produce such a disposition in us, to exercise our dependence on God, to increase our desire of the things we ask for, and to make us so sensible of our needs that we never cease wrestling till we have prevailed for the blessing (see Genesis 32:24-30).

From How to Pray

by John Wesley

Dang, all I want to do is pray. This is wonderful. I hope it ministers to you and encourages you as well!

Possibly better than the original. WLT - Ben Howard - Old Pine...

Mon, 09 Apr 2012 13:29:44 -0700

Possibly better than the original.

WLT - Ben Howard - Old Pine (by watchlistentell)

Letter to an Incomplete, Insecure Teenager

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 19:45:26 -0700

Letter to an Incomplete, Insecure Teenager

"Even After all this time The sun never says To the Earth, “You owe Me.” Look What..."

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 10:37:18 -0700

“

Even
After all this time
The sun never says
To the Earth,
“You owe Me.”

Look
What happens
With a love like that.
It lights the
Whole
Sky.

”

- Sufi Poetry of Hafiz
From The Gift

Seizing the "Kony" moment

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 05:41:00 -0700

Seizing the "Kony" moment:

The most important thing you can do is PRAY! But this article is a great resource to know how to help and take action.

Constantly brought back to my knees.

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 06:46:06 -0800

Wow. I found this little gem hidden away in my drafts.
Giggles built up and escaped my pursed lips as I read this, laughing at God’s timing.
This was huge encouragement for me today as I recall the events prior to this post, the events during this post, and the events post this post.
I am now 7 months into my 10 month STINT in El Salvador.
Again, I can just laugh.
AND GET BACK ON MY KNEES, REJOICING, PRAISING, SINGING OF GOD’S GOODNESS, THANKING HIM FOR HIS GOODNESS AND HIS GREATNESS.
I don’t know if I have already published this. But I’m going to publish it because it was a great reminder, great encouragement for me this morning :)

I am constantly, perpetually, physically brought to my knees in light of recent events. Seriously, I am just going to type away…I’m sorry if it doesn’t really make sense or I jump around but my fingers can’t type fast enough. God is SO GOOD. How can I say that in a less trite way? Wait, can I emphasize that again? GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!

It is official as of today, I am accepted to STINT in El Salvador next year; I get to take a year off of school and intern with Campus Crusade for Christ for a year long missions trip. I get to be a drop in the bucket, I am honored to be a worker in the harvest field in El Sal. Seriously, I went there over Spring Break, and let me tell ya, THE HARVEST IS PLENTIFUL BUT THE WORKERS ARE FEW! I am so overjoyed, so thankful, so humbled that the Lord would choose me.

What is the coolest thing experience God’s whispers, His prompting, and to see Him fight for me.

I have seen God sized problems come up again and again—post-STINT decision. And there are no other words to describe the way God resolves these “problems” other than CRAZY and MIRACULOUS. Through my roller coaster ride of emotions, God’s consistency has been made so evident. AHH again, let me just say, GOD IS SO GOOD!

I am so excited. Now, I am praying for God’s provision financially.

Just like Jesus asks His disciples after calming the storm in Matthew 8:26, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?”, I want to believe. I want to have big faith. I don’t want to be fearful about the mountain that is before me. There is no reason why I should doubt what God can do because He has come through so tangibly and mightily in the past four weeks. He has been brought so much glory and that just makes me so honored and humbled again to be a passenger in this wild ride. PRAISE HIM!

I am thankful for ways to boast about Him and His goodness. I am thankful that He has presented opportunities where simple truth is rooted deeper. These established so that they are immovable.

I will end with this verse from Isaiah 7:9

“…If you do not stand firm in your faith,
you will not stand at all.”

"‎So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t..."

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:40:15 -0800

“‎So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do.”

- Dead Poets Society, 1989 (via morenonsenseandgrizzlybears)